As mentioned in my post,"Some People", Earth's impending Zombie Apocolypse, tactical bacon, armored SUV's, and boob jobs gave birth to this blog. No really, it makes complete sense! Kris and I were having a typical post-coffee, mid-morning heart to heart regarding an article we'd read about the 10 essentials for surviving the 2012 doomsday. (Here's the article that started this convo: http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/41283196/ns/technology_and_science-tech_and_gadgets/?gt1=43001 ).
Once you get past the amazing prospect of bacon that can last up to 10 years... you'll find a blurb about what has to be the baddest ride on the planet! It's called the Knight XV... and I recommend you click on the link in the article to the company's website. So... as Kris and I were discussing each of our emergency 'shit and git' plans... we were trying to figure out how someone could finance one of these tanks on tires. Duh... you sell the seats via Ebay or Craigslist. Sell the available space in the vehicle to the highest bidders, along with a contractual obligation to pick them up on Doomsday!
Now you may be asking where boob jobs fit into all of this. Silly, it's simple! Every day, needy women, suffering through life flat-chested, are receiving life-saving breast augmentations at no cost to themselves!!!! How you ask?! The kindness of strangers (i.e. pervy men), who are donating anywhere from a dollar up to thousands of dollars. Don't believe me... just google "boob job donations" and you'll find tons of sites with happy testimonials.
I was dumbfounded by this phenomenon! People just give you money over Paypal if you ask for it? For things like boobs!? What the heck... that's awesome... we should so get an armored SUV!!!! :)
Of course... by the end of the day the idea had grown on me in a serious context. What if I could use a blog to talk about my family's story and along the way raise some money for Eric's trip to Hawaii? It seemed feasible. If women can get boob jobs from strangers, I should be able to get a plane ticket, right?
That is the story of my brain child's conception. However, as I'm sure you've seen, it didn't quite take on the life I thought it would. I quickly learned that Twitter was something I loathed and the time I thought I'd have to write on a regular basis just didn't exist. Before I knew it, it was August and we were starting on a course that would lead us to sell all of our belongings and take off to Hawaii. My efforts didn't match my imagination by a long shot. So now the focus is just to continue sharing our stories. If along the way I find a few bucks in my Paypal account from some random person who stumbled onto my blog, that'll just be a nice bonus to help fund Eric's trip to Hawaii.
16 days until Eric WALKS down the steps of the plane to the Kona runway... we can't wait!!!
Thank you Brittany Davis and Missy Kozee. I appreciate you sharing your emotional stories from that day. I'm hoping others will add their perspectives as well. (please visit my last post and add your story)
I've been sitting here looking at a blank screen for a couple of hours now. There's so much going on in my life I don't know what to do or say first.
Do I continue with the narrative? Do I tell of the actual shooting? Do I cut to the present and let you know how he's doing now? Do I talk about the direction our lives have taken a turn towards? What do I do now?
Maybe a little philosphy to tie two things together? At some point in this story I hope you've said to yourself that life is short and never guaranteed, followed by the realization you should be living it to its fullest. It's a thought that crosses our minds after a close call... but unfortunately it tends to linger too briefly. Fleeting and fading. Life keeps happening, even when it feels like it should stop for you. The next thing you know you're back to the day to day grind.
It's easier to daydream about doing that thing you've always wanted to do than it is to actually do it. How many instances in your life can you look back and say "I wish I'd done this" or "I wish I'd done that"? How much time have you spent doing things other people want you to do instead of the things you wanted to do? How much time in this one life of yours have you wasted? How much time has gone by and how much time is left? There's only one question there you actually know the answer to; that's where you should sober up to the reality of the possibility of regret.
How does this apply to my past and my future? Well... I had an eye-opening experience when Eric was shot. I almost didn't have another day with my stepson. He almost didn't have another day in his own life. And all because of an unforeseeable 'wrong place, wrong time' situation. The fragility of our world was exposed yet the lesson wasn't fully learned... it was fleeting and faded.
Fast forward to an extraordinary set of circumstances starting in August that led us to today. Today I am making the arrangements to leave this life I've known and start a new one I've dreamed of. I'm taking the proverbial leap of faith, with my best friend at my side. I'm hearing so many things from so many directions: crazy, brave, adventurous, reckless, smart, stupid, risky, envious. Time will only tell which ones turn out to be true. Hopefully you'll all be there (via blog stalking) to make up your own minds as to which words are most applicable. I'm crossing my fingers for brave and adventurous and beautiful (ok, I just threw that one in there on my own). :)
I leave you tonight with some quotes I find inspirational. Maybe there's one in there that will strike a chord with you.
You only have one life to live, but if you live it to the fullest, one is all you need.
Life is a journey, not a destination.
In thinking about the future, it is better to err on the side of daring than on the side of caution.
Learn as though you were to live forever; live as if you were to die tomorrow.
Go for it now. The future is promised to no one.
Every man dies. Not every man really lives.
As you grow older, you'll find the only things you regret are the things you didn't do.
backtracking to where i started to deviate... finishing the story of my life-altering 2010 holiday season....
you know the effect in movies where the actor is on a dolly being pulled through a scene with a head mounted camera giving the illusion of someone moving swiftly but unconnected? no motion to implicate walking, no up and down of the steps... just a gliding forward with an absent gaze... someone following a path they have no control over... caught in their own mind, fully aware that they are moving but unable to stop or change direction? that was me in the moments between closing the truck door and making it through the garage, crossing the walkway over apple street, speeding down the never ending hall to the emergency room desk, and up the elevator to the ICU... i don't know how fast we walked, maybe we ran... i don't know how long it took... but i do remember the elevator doors opening...
the tear soaked faces of Lari and Vicki, Eric's mother and grandmother, shocked me back into full awareness of the severity of the situation... i'll never forget the crushed and defeated expressions on their faces... Lari was barely able to speak... nearly hyperventilating... between the two of them we started to get bits and pieces of the events of the last hour beginning with "they say he won't walk again"... a point that stuck with those two women but never fully registered in my mind... and here's where it's going to start to become a blur... so much happened, so many stories changed, so many people came and went...
honestly, i can only give broad overstrokes at this point... like ive mentioned time and again... my mind doesn't work the way most do... i was already in caretaker mode... ready to help carry sad souls on my shoulders because of my "everything works out in the end" mentality... i could stand there... watching everyone in their greatest moment of despair and never break down myself... not yet at least... it always hits me later when i'm not expecting it...
finally word came that he was moved from the ER to the ICU... his parents were allowed back to see him... visitors limited to immediate family, two at a time... and in one of those mildly stinging step-parent moments i waited impatiently for chuck and lari to come out... and when they did i wished they'd stayed... tired eyes, red and puffy... confusion visible in the lines of their faces...
i had begun calling people and requesting prayers and positive thoughts via facebook... the word was starting to spread and family and friends were beginning to show up
i remember telling my sister she didn't need to come from Columbus... there was nothing she could really do... and it was Black Friday... her busiest day of the year as a manager of a Jack's... but of course she came (love you Britt)
i remember being surprised by Melissa, one of my dearest friends that i don't get to see that often... just a heartwarming reminder that true friends really are there when you need them most
i remember my cousin Missy and her husband John coming to show their support... that meant a lot considering we were newly reconnected from years of distance
i remember Eric's cousin Alex... one of the most outwardly devastated... also a relationship that had gained some distance... but one with so much history and so much love they'll always be connected
i'd like to take a moment and ask you to share what you remember from that morning
(remember, we're trying to earn money to fly Eric to Hawaii as motivation for his recovery... just $1 via Paypayl to jplum1234@gmail.com)
Well we can't be sad all the time, now can we? (Don't tell my therapist or pharmacologist I said that... they'll worry about a loss of business if they find out! :)
On that note... I think it's time to break from recounting "the story" to updating those of you "out of the know".
Eric's doing pretty goddamn good. Yeah, that's right... I said it.
Let's put things in perspective. On the 26th it will have been 6 months since we thought he would die, and once we knew he'd live, we thought he'd never walk again. I'm happy to report (and someday potentially post video of) Eric can walk fairly well with a walker. It's been a while since I had the privilege of seeing it with my own eyes... but I can tell you it's an inspiring sight.
There's nothing more beautiful for my eyes to behold than that young man carrying his weight on his own two legs. Ok... maybe more beautiful would be seeing him walk himself to the cliffs at South Point in Hawaii for the world's bluest ocean highlighted by the most incredible sunset known to man. But aside from that... he's kickin ass!
Sooo... roughly 6 more months for him to build his endurance, build his muscles, build his strength so that we can make the journey across the continent and the Pacific to a little place Chuck and I call Heaven on Earth. If you know him... please encourage him on a daily basis. The road ahead of him isn't lined with roses and lit by sunshine. At times he's gonna get stuck in the thorns or lost in the darkness. But I know whether you're a stranger with a pure heart and well wishes, or a friend with compassion and love, we're all going to put enough positive energy out there in his direction to help him achieve this goal.
Business: donate $1 to our dream via Paypal to Jplum1234@gmail.com
our story is beginning to get difficult... so much happened so quickly... and it's all jumbled in my head...
i've spent the last two hours drafting my next post and finally gave up by saving it for later... so that the lost sleep isn't in vain, i thought i'd at least post a little something... i spent this evening with chuck and eric stuffing ourselves on japanese hibachi grill cuisine... i'm glad i had that time with the two of them... unfortunately i haven't had the opportunity to see eric lately... the recent plans we've had have fallen through... but tonight made up for all of that... after a long chat covering everything from music festivals to mail order brides to recumbent bikes to the explanation of 420, we finally pushed our bloated selves away from our 'table' and drove back to his house... once we got past the initial awkwardness of his brother's ex showing up while the other ex was there he decided to put on a show... what seems like forever ago, but was probably a month ago, chuck suggested mounting something to the wall to assist e in his efforts to stand on his own... and now someone had... and we got to see him use his legs to push himself out of his chair into a standing position! with both legs locked! but more than that... the boy did a few 'squats'... using his legs to lower himself slightly and then straighten back up... only using his upper body for balance... what an amazing sight... that was the first time i really 100% believed we would actually be going to hawaii... i think i was at 95% before... but now... wow... what an amazing progress point he's made it to... there's still a long road ahead... but at least it seems to have a definite destination on the horizon...
i love you e... thanks for making my night
i love you chuck...
those of you reading this... please sign up as a follower to this blog... find me on twitter @Jplum1234... pass my links along to your friends... i need exposure! exposure! exposure! to help my experiment along... i'm looking strangers with an extra dollar to donate via PayPal to Jplum1234@gmail.com... yes, that's all... one silly little dollar and with more and more of you we could see a significant dent in our projected vacation funds deficit
i'm too pooped to even proof this, or add formatting... so here goes nothing... i'm hitting publish and if it's horrible in the morning i can just edit it :)
so there i am, hearing the words "Eric got shot." and my mind went in so many directions... including out of my body... momentarily hovering above me as i tried to take in the scene... the harsh lighting of my kitchen as my eyes adjusted... my husband rushing past me, an aura of frenzy about him ... joe looking tired and upset... my mind thought it was anything but what i was going to learn in the coming hours... i could only conjure the explanation of an accidental shot in his foot... a graze on his arm... something minor caused by something stupid... stupid kids in stupid places or stupid kids showing off... like you hear so often on the news... but my mind never went anywhere serious. in those first moments i was actually angry at him for what my mind thought was a stupid decision... it had to be... in my reality these things don't just happen by chance.... these things only happen to other people...
i went back upstairs to get dressed and grab my phone... my phone! like running into a brick wall... the realization hit me... my phone rang around 2:45 am... i had rolled over... grumbling at the disturbance... and looking to see who was calling at a such a late hour... i saw a number i didn't recognize... so i shrugged it off as a wrong number from some poor black friday shopper, cross referencing christmas shopping lists with family members in other stores... and rolled right back over into the comfort of my warm blanket and my husband's arms...
now in the blazing lights of my kitchen... i was hearing joe tell us that eric's mom, Lari, had tried calling and couldn't get a hold of us... i should've answered!... we could have been at the hospital by now... however, in the time it took the thought to enter my mind it was gone just as quickly... i grabbed my phone and threw on my clothes... flying back down the stairs and having a quick conversation with chuck in which we got our communications crossed... i thought he was leaving right then and wanted me to follow... so as he walked out into our garage i had the sense to feed cartman... back in my kitchen, taking a deep breath, putting a scoop of food into his bowl, i heard the door to the garage burst back open... with a startled look in both of our eyes, chuck and i gazed at each either... i in confusion... him in impatience... he had been waiting for me in the driveway... i hurriedly dropped cartman's dish to the floor and rushed out the door with chuck.
i don't know if we spoke on the long drive to the hospital... i imagine i was questioning him about what joe had told him while i was upstairs... we must have both been questioning what was really going on... i'll ask chuck tomorrow, but i'm fairly sure at this point we had heard the words we would hear far too many times in the next few hours... "he's paralyzed, doctors say he won't walk again"... it's so hard to convey where my mind was... i have this amazing knack for seeing the positive in everything, finding hope when there is none, denying what's right in front of my face with an optimism unmatched by anyone i've ever met... "won't walk again? well, that's just nonsense. he learned to walk when he was a baby, he'll walk again as a man. you're crazy for thinking otherwise!"... but there we were... parking at miami valley hospital... terror about to hit me in less than two minutes... pulling into a parking space... the last moments of hope... the last moments of what was a normal life... the last moments of that world i knew, that world i thought i was in control of... that world that apparently only existed in my mind... yes, in just two minutes my world began crashing down around my feet in a way i never could have foreseen
First... thank you to those of you following me. I'm up to a whopping 6 people bored enough to read what I write. :) Just kidding. I value each and every one of you, and I hope you're not here because of obligation or boredom. Two big Thank You's are due. First, to my Mom, Marsha Osman, for being my first registered fan. Thanks Mom!!!!! Second, to Erika and Ben Myer. They were the first to generously donate to the Dream Come True Fund. That's awesome, and I really appreciate it.
I know it's my fault this project hasn't taken on the life I wanted it to, or believe that it can. Here's my line of excuses... 1. computer custody wars, now that my husband has a great interest in perusing Ebay, Craigslist, and Facebook. 2. The launching of my in-home cake decorating business. If you haven't checked it out yet, you can visit me at www.facebook.com/plumcrazy.cakery 3. Well, all work and no play would make Jes a dull girl... and who wants that? So yes, playing has also impeded on my blogging time. We just celebrated Chuck's "40th" birthday this weekend and had an amazing time.
So my vow to my brain child is this... I'll be back soon with a renewed vigor. I still have a story to share, and a social experiment to complete.
Much love to you all!
** for those of you just tuning in, check out the previous blog entry for the business side of things... i'm just looking for $1 from random strangers... you can send it via the interweb by going to www.paypal.com and sending 100 pennies to jplum1234@gmail.com***
<exhale> wow... walking my mind through those events is harder than i thought. in the moment it was all about what to do, what the doctors had to say, how to help E... i was just existing in auto-pilot. now, slowly and purposefully traveling through those moments wears on my soul.
so tonight i'll break and introduce the business behind this blog. yes, unfortunately there is business to attend to.
as mentioned previously, chuck dropped an amazing offer on the christmas dinner table. if eric's walking by christmas 2011 we will be celebrating it in hawaii. why hawaii? chuck and i spent our honeymoon there, and were so captivated by the aloha spirit we went back on our 2 year anniversary. we've wanted nothing more than to share our amazing experiences with anyone able and willing to make the long trip there. every day it's looking a little more probable that i'll be seeing christmas lights on palm trees instead of pine trees. with that possibility, we've got to start figuring out how we're going to make this happen. it will happen regardless of what money we save because a promise is a promise. if E holds up his end of the bargain, we'll be holding up ours.
how does that lead us here? in one of my usual crazy, random, conversations with my friend Kris, i went from trying to find a way to purchase a half million dollar fortress on wheels to survive an apocolyptic zombie attack... to conjuring up a fundraising plan based on social media.
i'm banking on several aspects of humanity to come through for me:
1. curiosity - some people can't help themselves... who doesn't want to see what happens if they give one or two measly dollars to a stranger? they might just become a part of the next hot story on the internet.
2. compassion - some people still have it. some people are sitting at home right now with their healthy children, with a dollar or two they found in the couch cushions earlier this week, thinking how they can't imagine what we went through
3. generosity - some people just love to give... some people have a lot more than others and recognize their blessings... and then have a desire to share it
4. bond of commonality - some people have loved ones taken by violent crimes... some people have suffered through the moments of uncertainty in the wake of a tragic event... some people have watched a son or a daughter work so hard to gain back something ripped away from them... working to do something they've done effortlessly since they were toddlers... something taken for granted for most of their lives
so here i am counting on some people to help me... one, two, three dollars at a time... E's going to walk again... absolutely he will walk again... it's just a matter of time and determination... we're trying to give him something to focus on every time he struggles to get in and out of his wheelchair... every time he straps on leg braces and pulls himself upright with a walker... with every step we want him knowing he's working towards a once in a lifetime trip with two people who love him more than anything
500 strangers donating $2... and we're $1000 closer to not maxing out our credit cards to keep our promise... think of all the things we waste money on everyday... do you have to have the $6 super vende double espresso no fat caramel macchiato with light whipped cream today?
mmmmmm... caramel macchiato :) ok... maybe you do... but there has to be something some people can give up for one day.........
so that leads us to the world wide web, or as i like to call it... the interweb... where you can log on to http://www.paypal.com/ and give a dollar or three to jplum1234@gmail.com without so much as leaving your comfy lazy boy recliner with heat and massage
are you curious? are you compassionate? are you generous? are you relating to me because of our commonalities? are you some people... if you are, you can help...
i've had this account for about a month now. the words and ideas have been flowing in my head, but until tonight haven't made it onto this page. so why am i here tonight? tonight brought me back to the reason i wanted to start this blog. tonight i spent the evening surrounded by family, the family that's gone through so much in the past year. the family i almost lost, in more than one way. tonight reminded me that when life goes on for many, life is stalled for others.
this is my attempt to spread my eternal optimism. this is my attempt to make a dream come true. selfish? maybe. but i hope it becomes selfless too.
so before my story begins, i'll introduce myself. i'm a 31 year old woman. i'm a wife and a stepmother and a grandmother. i'm hoping to become a mother in the near future. i thrive in sunshine. i wither in darkness. i have a kind, empathetic soul. i want the world to be a better place. i hope that when given the opportunity i can add a little bit of light to others' lives. subject #1: my stepson, Eric.
several conversations have lead me to tonight. the first, christmas dinner, and an incentive thrown on the table by my husband, Chuck, to Eric. "if you're walking by next christmas, we'll celebrate it in hawaii". the second, a zombie survival brainstorm with a dear friend (i'll explain later). the third, spending tonight watching E struggle with the hand life's dealt him and realizing i need to get this ball rolling. so without further hesitation, i'm tossing the ball. o_____o_____o___o__o_o_o
sometimes the things that happen to other people happen to you. all of the sudden, out of nowhere, you ARE the other people. thanksgiving night, i became that person. thanksgiving night my life and the lives of everyone in my family changed. one single bullet with the wrong name on it sent us into the twilight zone.
a knock on the door at 3 a.m. started what was to be the most terrifying day of my life. in my half asleep stupor i nudged my husband awake telling him someone was at the door. i have no idea what i thought could bring someone to my door at that hour, but after a couple of minutes without Chuck's return, i grabbed my glasses and my robe and headed downstairs. if i knew what i would find at the bottom of my stairs maybe i would have closed my eyes and slipped back into the comfort of sleep. there was my brother-in-law, Joe, and the words that still to this day don't seem real. "Eric's been shot." i don't know what they had going on in their heads, but in mine, i just didn't understand. shot? no, that can't be. that doesn't happen to us. that happens to other people.
