Thank you Brittany Davis and Missy Kozee. I appreciate you sharing your emotional stories from that day. I'm hoping others will add their perspectives as well. (please visit my last post and add your story)
I've been sitting here looking at a blank screen for a couple of hours now. There's so much going on in my life I don't know what to do or say first.
Do I continue with the narrative? Do I tell of the actual shooting? Do I cut to the present and let you know how he's doing now? Do I talk about the direction our lives have taken a turn towards? What do I do now?
Maybe a little philosphy to tie two things together? At some point in this story I hope you've said to yourself that life is short and never guaranteed, followed by the realization you should be living it to its fullest. It's a thought that crosses our minds after a close call... but unfortunately it tends to linger too briefly. Fleeting and fading. Life keeps happening, even when it feels like it should stop for you. The next thing you know you're back to the day to day grind.
It's easier to daydream about doing that thing you've always wanted to do than it is to actually do it. How many instances in your life can you look back and say "I wish I'd done this" or "I wish I'd done that"? How much time have you spent doing things other people want you to do instead of the things you wanted to do? How much time in this one life of yours have you wasted? How much time has gone by and how much time is left? There's only one question there you actually know the answer to; that's where you should sober up to the reality of the possibility of regret.
How does this apply to my past and my future? Well... I had an eye-opening experience when Eric was shot. I almost didn't have another day with my stepson. He almost didn't have another day in his own life. And all because of an unforeseeable 'wrong place, wrong time' situation. The fragility of our world was exposed yet the lesson wasn't fully learned... it was fleeting and faded.
Fast forward to an extraordinary set of circumstances starting in August that led us to today. Today I am making the arrangements to leave this life I've known and start a new one I've dreamed of. I'm taking the proverbial leap of faith, with my best friend at my side. I'm hearing so many things from so many directions: crazy, brave, adventurous, reckless, smart, stupid, risky, envious. Time will only tell which ones turn out to be true. Hopefully you'll all be there (via blog stalking) to make up your own minds as to which words are most applicable. I'm crossing my fingers for brave and adventurous and beautiful (ok, I just threw that one in there on my own). :)
I leave you tonight with some quotes I find inspirational. Maybe there's one in there that will strike a chord with you.
You only have one life to live, but if you live it to the fullest, one is all you need.
Life is a journey, not a destination.
In thinking about the future, it is better to err on the side of daring than on the side of caution.
Learn as though you were to live forever; live as if you were to die tomorrow.
Go for it now. The future is promised to no one.
Every man dies. Not every man really lives.
As you grow older, you'll find the only things you regret are the things you didn't do.
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