backtracking to where i started to deviate... finishing the story of my life-altering 2010 holiday season....
you know the effect in movies where the actor is on a dolly being pulled through a scene with a head mounted camera giving the illusion of someone moving swiftly but unconnected? no motion to implicate walking, no up and down of the steps... just a gliding forward with an absent gaze... someone following a path they have no control over... caught in their own mind, fully aware that they are moving but unable to stop or change direction? that was me in the moments between closing the truck door and making it through the garage, crossing the walkway over apple street, speeding down the never ending hall to the emergency room desk, and up the elevator to the ICU... i don't know how fast we walked, maybe we ran... i don't know how long it took... but i do remember the elevator doors opening...
the tear soaked faces of Lari and Vicki, Eric's mother and grandmother, shocked me back into full awareness of the severity of the situation... i'll never forget the crushed and defeated expressions on their faces... Lari was barely able to speak... nearly hyperventilating... between the two of them we started to get bits and pieces of the events of the last hour beginning with "they say he won't walk again"... a point that stuck with those two women but never fully registered in my mind... and here's where it's going to start to become a blur... so much happened, so many stories changed, so many people came and went...
honestly, i can only give broad overstrokes at this point... like ive mentioned time and again... my mind doesn't work the way most do... i was already in caretaker mode... ready to help carry sad souls on my shoulders because of my "everything works out in the end" mentality... i could stand there... watching everyone in their greatest moment of despair and never break down myself... not yet at least... it always hits me later when i'm not expecting it...
finally word came that he was moved from the ER to the ICU... his parents were allowed back to see him... visitors limited to immediate family, two at a time... and in one of those mildly stinging step-parent moments i waited impatiently for chuck and lari to come out... and when they did i wished they'd stayed... tired eyes, red and puffy... confusion visible in the lines of their faces...
i had begun calling people and requesting prayers and positive thoughts via facebook... the word was starting to spread and family and friends were beginning to show up
i remember telling my sister she didn't need to come from Columbus... there was nothing she could really do... and it was Black Friday... her busiest day of the year as a manager of a Jack's... but of course she came (love you Britt)
i remember being surprised by Melissa, one of my dearest friends that i don't get to see that often... just a heartwarming reminder that true friends really are there when you need them most
i remember my cousin Missy and her husband John coming to show their support... that meant a lot considering we were newly reconnected from years of distance
i remember Eric's cousin Alex... one of the most outwardly devastated... also a relationship that had gained some distance... but one with so much history and so much love they'll always be connected
i'd like to take a moment and ask you to share what you remember from that morning
(remember, we're trying to earn money to fly Eric to Hawaii as motivation for his recovery... just $1 via Paypayl to jplum1234@gmail.com)
I remember standing in line at Target bored, oh so bored. I had nothing to do while standing in a line that was wrapped in and out of the aisles, so what better to do than check Facebook. It was 6am or so when i read the post about Eric. I called and was told there was no need to come out, that they really didnt know anything yet. So i got through the line with my deals, and couldnt stand it. I sped home to get John and went to the Valley. Because it was a shooting, getting up to the family area was a challenge, lots of hoops to jump through. Finally, we see Jes and Chuck and the look on everyones face was tragic, sadness, disbelief, overwhelmed...We stayed for a little while but because of the disconnection between us, i didnt want to overstay our welcome, so we left with the words "call if you need anything" Looking back, glancing foward or anything in between, we are here to stay and will be forever.
ReplyDeletei remember waking up to a text from mom at 7am. those texts never prove to be good. it said "have you talked to jes?!?" i replied with "no, whats up?" and instead of her texting back she started calling me. i knew it wasn't good and tried to mentally prepare before answering. of course mark was next to me, also awake, wondering what was going on. so when mom called i put it on speaker. she said eric had been shot downtown after a show and was in really bad shape. i'll never forget how fast we jumped out of bed. i was told there was nothing i could do and no need to come to the hospital, mark did his best to keep me rational too but it just didn't work. i got to work and my associates took one look at me and knew something was terribly wrong. so i explained what was going on and got some amazing support. they said don't worry about a thing, they would survive black friday, but someone in my family may not and i should be there. i called mark and we hit the road for what still remains the LONGEST drive ever between columbus and dayton.
ReplyDeletei'm an odd mix of dad's calmness and mom's tears in situations like these. i was calm while driving, erratic while parking, calm while walking to the ICU and in the waiting room, and sobbing while in the room with mom, chuck and eric. i was calm for goodbyes and hysterical on the way home. that day made me angry that i lived two hours away instead of 20 minutes like everyone else. but i had to make the drive to see my family, there were no exceptions there!
seeing eric was really tough. wiping tears from his cheeks while he wrote notes on a pad of paper. he wasn't speaking but was writing fairly well. he asked us if he would ever walk again. i couldn't breathe. i kissed him on the forehead and said he would if he wanted too. i'll never get that out of my mind.
eric is my only (human) nephew and i've always adored him ever since he was little. it fills my heart every time i see him make progress. watching the therapy videos early on in recovery. seeing him travel to columbus for the werks. watching him swim for the first time this summer, and take a trip of a lifetime to colorado. its amazing to see him accomplish these amazing things after being told he would never walk again, that quality of life would suffer.
i remember a lot. i'll never forget it.
I remember it like it was yesterday. I was house/dog sitting for a friend and had just gotten into a fight with my mom. (no one but us know this story yet) and I was almost up for work when I got that phone call. Jes, it was you who called me at 6:50 am and I had to listen to a devastating voicemail. It hit me right away and the sobs came full throttle. I managed to call my boss and left him a sad voicemail. Then tried to get ahold of my then pregnant mom and stepdad. Sleeping of course. I drove to the hospital and met my grandma just before walking in. "He won't ever walk again" that's all we kept hearing. "shot" "such an outdoor lively kid, he can't NOT walk" more sobs. Then my mom finally called back. Crying so hard and apologizing and telling me she loved me. Just a little fight before but a realization that life is so short. Then she showed up at the hospital, pregnant belly and tired face. We just hugged and cried. Finally after waiting what seemed an eternity, Drew and I went back to see him. Lying there helpless and puffy. Drew and I just cried together and told Eric we were there and we loved him. Almost a year later, tears still running down my face. My hair hasn't been cut once since. Eric and I made a pact. No cutting my hair until he walks. I haven't even gotten a trim. We were once like siblings and I miss that. But I'll always love him, even if he's stubborn like his dad :) and I still won't even trim my hair.
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